Dear Someone,

Hey.. How are you? I dont even know what  to say to you since we stopped talking for a couple of months now. I guess i miss you.. I've been wanting to tell you that but i dont have the nerve to do so because of what happened. I really do miss you.. All the talking and txting and the stuffs we used to do together. I sometimes wonder if you think about me too. Well, I guess you do, but maybe not as much as i do. Im guessing you are mad at me, or maybe you resent me so much that you wouldn't want anything to do with me. Maybe you dont want to see me again ever.. Maybe this is really the end and we have to move on and forget about each other. It kinda hurts you know. It really hurts to think about goodbyes and all that letting go thing. But i guess that's what i have to do now.. And since i know i wont be able to tell you about this personally, i decided to just write down my sentiments on my lame blog. I just need to let this all out before i totally close the doors. I dont know if doing this makes any sense but i just got to let this all out!

Okay. So I am not mad at you. I guess im just a little... hmmm... a little.. okay! I guess im a little mad at you. I honestly think you have a cold heart because it was so easy for you to walk out on my life just like that. I dont know if that is the real you or you are just so good at pretending, but letting our friendship go is like a piece of cake to you. It's as if i've never been important to you. As if, we didn't became so close and all that we've shared dont mean anything to you. I understand that we've only known each other for months but our friendship is really something special and you know that. At least im thinking that you know that.. That's what i wanted to believe.
Well of course, there's always a two side to every story.. I dont know your side, and in the first place you never bother to let me know. All i know is you're mad at me after that last txt conversation that we had and that's it for you! Seems like you're really done with our friendship but hey! after a month or two dont you think its about time for us to talk once and for all? I believe it's better to sit down and talk and be angry--if that's whats gonna help us both! People get mad from time to time,dont we? It's normal! You can get mad and lash out on me and i will understand it. And if this friendship is bound to end then so be it! At least you will hear my point and i will also know yours. But keeping things hangin like this? I will never understand it. I think this is a dumb idea.Such a coward way to face our differences.

But what can i do? I guess there is nothing i can do but write this letter and finally put everything behind me now. Yes. Finally. I've realized i am tired of trying and i just wanted to stop caring or worrying. What's the point of still doing that? there's none right? And so im letting our friendship go. It's sad when  good things came to an end but life can be really that depressing sometimes ... It will leave you with no choice but to stop fighting and start giving in to it's tragic circumstances.
But please dont get me wrong, I am not saying that i regret meeting you. I dont have regrets.  But i guess at this point, i've come to realized that loving a person and caring about them so much isnt a guarantee that the relationship can withstand everything. There is no guarantee. Sadly, there is really none.

Now, for the last time, i wanted to tell you that i miss you and if in some place and time our paths shall cross again, i'll just smile.. With the thought that once upon a time, in a not so distant past, we have shared a beautiful, genuine friendship. Though it ended, we know it both made us a better person. So much better than yesterday that we will never allowed our past mistakes to happened again. Never again..

Until here my dearest friend.. I wish you happiness.. And all the good things i could ever think of.

Thank You for Everything.

Always,
Me.

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People change, feelings change. It doesn't mean that the friendship once shared wasn't true and real, it simply just means that sometimes when people grow, they grow apart.

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Forgiveness is always easier said then done… to forgive is to stop feeling anger and to stop blaming another, to pardon, to let go of resentment, to move on, even to stop playing the scene over and over in your mind. If this is forgiveness then for true forgiveness and to be able to heal and to feel inner peace again you must both forgive and forget… 

reality bytes 101

I just couldn't contain the sadness upon watching news. I need to write my thoughts down or else my heart would explode. (lol) Seriously, my heart was broken right now. Seeing the devastating news on TV. People are screaming for help. No food, water, shelter and most of them even lost their loved ones and worst, they cant even recover the bodies. It was PURE MADNESS. It was like HELL. I know this is a crazy thing to do but i tried putting myself into the victim's shoe. What will i do then?

think.. think.. think..

It was depressing really, just to even thought about it. What more if im in that situation? I guess i'l go crazy--that is if i am lucky enough to survived the storm.

I guess the situation is an eye opener for everybody. I know for a fact that Filipinos are one if not the most resilient people in the world. We are survivors by nature! but in times like these, especially when you are in the middle of all the distraught and distress, how can you tell yourself that everything will be okay??? How do you hold it together when everything else is falling apart???

It's really hard. Hard is an understatement. I mean, it's really difficult to be your own hero. It's not easy to be in the middle of catastrophe.
Well, me too, had my fair share of traumatic experiences caused by disasters.
I am from Hagonoy Bulacan and I swear! nothing is worse than the flood situation here in our town. Flood had became part of our lives. Flood is happening even without typhoons, even in summer, or christmas season. It was crazy! I remember there was this one night, my family and i are sleeping (we used to sleep on floors using mattress in our living room) and we unfortunately woke up to soaked beds and pillows. Little did we know the water had already entered the house like an uninvited guest. It was mortifying! I dont even know what to do first because the water is just so fast and we have to move faster to save our things from getting wet. Flood is worse during typhoons. It was like a nightmare for me and my family. I have also experienced evacuating, leaving our house and our dogs behind because there is no place for us to sleep. Our house was always a mess. We dont bother to really restore it because we know the flood will keep on coming back and it will just ruined everything! It was really sickening. Sometimes you would want to relocate to another place just because you are fed up of all the flood.
What's worse than going to work and you have no choice but to ride on a trash truck coz that's the only vehicle available? or riding a small boat crossing into the dark river at 4 o'clock in the morning just because  that's the only way to travel since the water will not subside, and you still have to go to work.
I thought nothing was worse that that!

Until Yolanda came..

Until i saw Tacloban and what was left of it.

What i realized is we are still blessed. You, me and every single one of us who is spared in the damage were really blessed. I'd use the word BLESSED. It's more appropriate i guess. We are not just lucky but blessed! :)

I realized that what we have experienced here in Bulacan are nothing compared to those who are in Tacloban right now. Yes. we do have our struggles but not as much as what they had to bear right now.
I still  have my family with me. I can hug and talk to my parents anytime, i can still call my siblings and friends, i dont have problems as to where will i sleep, we still are eating 3 meals a day (sometimes more than 3) i have access to electricity, internet, water and all the basic needs. Yet i still got the nerve to say that we have the worst situation ever! *sigh* now i know how pointless that was.

Nahiya ako bigla..

Anyway, i am just so grateful that help from the inside and the outside of the Philippines are outpouring. It's really nice to see people from other places and from different races really go out of their way to help our people. My friend in Norway message me on FB twice and she is so worried because she'd seen the news. It did make me smile! And i guess the best thing that this tragedy brought us is it makes us closer as a nation, as a world, as a family. It doesnt matter what race, what skin color, what language. Everybody is just so willing to take part in helping the Philippines.

With that, we say THANK YOU.....

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts :)

It got me to believing again that there are still a lot of goodness in this world. That there are still a lot of reasons to smile, that there will always be countless reasons to smile  :-) :-) :-)

I'll leave you with this inspiring song. Goodnight guys! GOD BLESS THE PHILIPPINES :-)